If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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