NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
