Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize