so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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