Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize