Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
