oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize