I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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