Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
