Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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