Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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