am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
