Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
