I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
