he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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