Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
