Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
