I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
