If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
