A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
