walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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