we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
