He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
