She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
