we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
