Sponge bath it is.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
