but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
