Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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