Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
