You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
