Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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