There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
