If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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