YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
