She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
