I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
