Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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