They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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