Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
