lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
