you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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