I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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