I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
