just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
