wrigley field is MILF paradise
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
