best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
