My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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