We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
