so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
