Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I think i got beer on your cat.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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