So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
