I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
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