I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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