I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
