don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
