no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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