she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize