So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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