My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My hand turned me down
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize