Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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