i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
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