i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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